My Philosophy

This month I'll be talking about what my friends have done to me, and more beliefs on God....and what not. So read on and feel free to email me if you'd like to tell me off.

Friends and What Not

I wish people realized what they are doing to me. They expect me to forgive them, but yet they still talk about me. Why should I be friends with people who talk about me? They get mad at me because of my boyfriend and because I just stand there while he talks to them. If he hurt anyone, I think I would have enough sense to stop him. Maybe not though because nobody seems to want to tell me if he does hurt them. But these people expect me to grovel at their feet like their some kind of upper class to me, when the truth is I don't need people like these. I thought they were my friends when they really aren't. Everything would be fine if I knew that they weren't talking about me, my boyfriend, or another friend of mine. They expect me to change my boyfriend because they don't like the way he is. Well have I got news for them. He has never hurt me "physically", and I like the way he is. Just because my "friends" don't like him doesn't mean I'm going to break up with him for them. I'm sorry if I said some of you got sticks up your asses but the truth is, some of you do. Nobody appologized to me when things got out of hand. I don't go around talking about you guys like you do to me. I know you do too because people have told me what your saying about me. Why should I be the one to appologize when I don't see why I should. If anyone actually would appologize to me, I don't know if I would even accept their appology because of what you have done to me. It takes awhile to get a friendship back once the damage has been done. I'm sorry that I don't have some of these friends anymore but I guess it was for the better. Because now I realize who I can trust, who my real friends really are. I thought some of my old friends were my good friends but they've changed. I wish some of them were still my friends but I can't have friends who talk about me behind my back.

More Thoughts on Friends

Now as you can see, I was hurt by most of my friends at the end of the year and it was for a lot of stupid stuff that they all should have came out and appologized to me for. But you know how many did? One. One person, two didn't get involved, and my boyfriend was of course on my side because he was involved. So I know have four people that will actually talk to me. It's sad because you can see how they've changed once they hit high school, and sadly enough it wasn't for the best. They think they haven't changed but they have. Things probably wouldn't be the same now even if anyone actually did appologize to me but hey, if they want to waste their breath their more than welcome to. But why should I be friends with people who backstab me, hurt my boyfriend by hurting me, and hurt other people because they TALKED to me? I don't want to associate people like that. This one girl told me she just wanted us to get along people 'there are a lot of parties your going to miss because nobody is getting along with you anymore'. Gee...makes me feel freakin' great about myself. But have I got news for her...her parties suck. While their planning their "surprise" birthday parties, I'll be out at college parties, and having fun with my real friends who I can actually trust. Why would I even go to a party where all they would probably do is talk about me. Another thing, if I have to hear about one more N'Sync concert ticket, I'm going to scream. Why on earth would you go and buy a $70 ticket to sit and scream in a seat straining to hear N'sync over 57,000 screaming girls and barely being able to see them because you're soooo far away? That's NUTS! I could go to let's see....about 10 pirates games for that much and have money left over for food. Maybe it's me but I just don't get it. Like, I bend over backwards for my so called "friends" going out of my way half the time to bake birthday cakes, help planning stuff, taking people here and there and they go and do this to me. It's about on a kindergarden level, I swear to God it is. Trust me. I'd tell you what happend but you know, they'd probably get mad at me for telling random people. I'd just like to say, cherish your friends while you can because you'll never know when they'll all be gone.

April 18, 2001

Let's see, what should I talk about today...I don't know! Well to start out I would like to send my congrats to my boyfriend Matt's family for their new baby. (Hi Noah!) Okay now to the column part. Today's problem: Boyfriends/girlfriends. Boyfriends/girlfriends (for you guys out there) are great but also a problem. They can force you into stuff...you know what I'm talking about! And they can also be your soul mate and companion. My boyfriend and I are approaching our 6th month anniversary and I can say that it has been the greatest 6 months of my life. I have never had this much fun with a person and I love him very much. Recently a friend of mine has had a problem with a girl and a friend of his. Basically he wants a girlfriend but he's afraid to ask her out. I don't understand guys...I really don't...well most of them. If you like a girl, why don't you talk to her? She might like you too! Basically, don't be afraid to talk to someone you like, a friendship is the basis of a great relasonship. If your not your bf/gf friend, you won't be able to relate to them on different subjects. Now sure, you guys aren't going to be EXACTLY alike, but you could be pretty close. A bf/gf is a gift from God. Once you have found your soul mate you'll know it. You won't be able to stand one moment apart from them, when you do you get this heart ache and funny stomache feeling. When you do find someone that you really love, don't let them go. But, be patient for you guys and girls out there without gf or bf. One isn't just going to drop out of the sky...you have to wait. Only God will know when your ready to have a gf or bf and he'll send someone who is just right for you. All you have to do is trust in him and believe that there is someone out there for you.

Is There a God?

With so many bad thing going on in the world, sometimes people feel alone, like there is nobody there for them. Well there is, I believe that there is a God. A very merciful God. I would know, believe me I would know. Prayer is one of the most powerful things in the world. It works too. Now I'm going to tell you a little story so grab your popcorn and get comfortable! I had a friend that I had known since...I can't remember! I knew her before I started going to pre-school. She was my best friend and the person I could always count on. I thought nothing would ever happen to us. Middle school came around and we grew apart because of new friends, boyfriends, and school. Then came the news, I was going to move right before Thanksgiving break. Now my friend (who will remain nameless) had not been in school for the past few weeks...we sat together on the bus ride there. So the day I was going to move, another friend came up to me and asked if I knew why my friend had not been there. She told me that my friend had a brain tumor. That is the hardest news to get, let me tell you what. The whole day I felt like throwing up or crying but I couldn't, I had to be strong. So at lunch, some of my other friends kept telling me to pray for her. So I did, I prayed every chance I got that day. I went home and lost it, I cried for the entire night in the car ride out to my new house. A few weeks later, I decided to write her a letter. After that, one of my other friends called me and told me that my friend was doing okay, they had been able to remove some of the tumor but she still had to go threw chemo. I cried again, but this time for joy. I had been so afraid that I was going to lose my best friend and she was only 13 at the time. Months had passed by before I heard any news of my friend again. Then one day I got a call, she was having a relaps, and she was close to death. I prayed again, and had other people pray for her. I went home and asked my other friend what was happening and she told me that everything was okay, they had saved my friend, prayer had worked. About a year had passed by before I had talked to my friend that had cancer. They told me that all the cancer was gone. I was so happy. She also told me that I was the only friend that she had left, and the only one who wrote to her in the hospital. She told me she'd read my letters over and over again because they kept her going...they gave her something to do. I went back that summer to see my 'other friend' who had kept in touch with my friend to tell me what was happening. Well little did I know that later that day, I would meet my friend for the first time since the move. It was probably one of the greatest days of my life. To see my friend, changed, but to see my friend. I had realized then that prayer helped her through her cancer. Prayer had helped the doctors and helped her family. My friend is doing great now and will probably be fine the rest of her life. Sometimes after a death or a disaster people ask, "How could God do this to us?" The answer is simple yet comlicated(that made sense, give me a break, I'm blonde!) Since Adam and Eve sinned in the garden, the world has been, in a way, controlled by Satan. So now that we got that taken care of we'll go into stories! YAY! Now how many of you reading this have had a family member/friend with a disease? Go ahead answer out loud...I too have had my share of disease and problems in my family and I can see that there is a God. He saved my cousin who had a kidney transplant at three and my best friend who had cancer about two years ago. People say what won't kill you will only make you stronger. It's true. Through God you can develop into a stronger person. I believe that there is a God through my personal experiences, and I also believe that one day God will come back for his believers and take us into heaven to live with him forever.